Worried

When we first found out I was pregnant, I was on Cloud 9.  For two days you couldn't wipe the smile off my face or take the skip out of my step.  But when the cramping started, my heart just sank.  Sure, sure cramping was "normal" for an IUI and implantation, but it just didn't feel normal.  

Maybe I am reading too much into everything due to my previous history with preterm labor, but deep down I feel as if my body is already fighting this pregnancy. 

While I am still thrilled we are pregnant, I have been keeping my heart guarded just in case.   And I hate being like that.  I am a glass half full kinda gal, and it drives me nuts that I just can't seem to get some positive energy flowing with this pregnancy.  I feel like a drama queen and I don't like it. 

At the end of last week, the Zofran was working and I really felt like I was turning a corner in this pregnancy.  That maybe the terrible morning sickness was driving my bad attitude.  But Friday  night when Charlotte came into our room around 3:00 am, I went to the bathroom and saw that I was spotting.  It wasn't bad - just a few drops - but any blood when you are pregnant is SCARY!

By the morning it was almost cleared up, but I called my doctor just in case.  He said to take it easy and call if the bleeding or cramping got worse.  It stopped, so we went on with our weekend plans.  Then last night the cramping escalated.  At times it was so painful, it took my breath away.  Had I been further along in this pregnancy, I would have had us off to Labor and Delivery.  Since I am still so early and it was past 9:00, I waited to call my doctor this morning.  The cramping continued until around 10:00 this morning.  I have been taking it very easy today and laying down/sitting as much as possible. 

My doctor called back around 11:00 and wants me to go in for an ultrasound at 2:00. 

I am scared.  I am heartbroken.  And I am worried about my baby. 

I know that whatever happens, happens for a reason.  I am doing my best to keep a positive outlook - that we will be celebrating Christmas this year with this new little baby in our arms - but it is hard to not let my mind wander....

If you happen to be reading this, please say a prayer that the baby is safe, growing, and just as perfect as can be.  And pray that they can find a reason for this cramping and make it stop. 

I will update as soon as I know anything.  My appointment is at 2:00, but I am going to an Imaging Center, so the doctor will call me after they send him the ultrasound report.  Not sure when I will have any news.