I am not going to lie, I have been trying very hard NOT to look for signs of pregnancy, but I am failing miserably at it. Every hint of nausea, my heart skips a beat and I think, Oh! Maybe I am pregnant!
It is sad, very sad.
For the past week I have been so exhausted and have off and on bouts with nausea, however, I have also been battling a nasty cold/cough since last Friday. All of my "pregnancy" symptoms could clearly be just a result of my illness.
Tomorrow is the big testing day and I am going to resist the urge to take a test tonight. For Charlotte I took the test the night before I was supposed to and, sure enough, it was positive! My logic on being patient and waiting until tomorrow is that maybe if I show this baby (if I am pregnant) some patience, he/she will in turn be patient and be full term. Silly, I know, but I will do just about anything to not have another preemie.
I really can't believe that the two weeks are almost up. The time has gone by much quicker than I anticipated!
The game plan for tomorrow is:
- Take pregnancy test first thing in the morning
- If positive, go in for blood work to make sure all is okay.
- If negative, I am unsure if I get blood work, but I do know I stop taking the Prometrium pills and wait for my period. Then we will start again for our second of three tries.
- Pray.
Even if my test is positive, there is still concern of miscarriage. While this is true for any pregnancy, I am at a greater risk due to my occult ovarian failure (bad eggs can implant, they just don't stay there for long). I guess what I am getting at, is even if I do have a positive test tomorrow morning, it wouldn't be reason to start the celebration. It would be a great hurdle to overcome, but there are a few more to jump before we can breathe easy about the pregnancy.
I am giddy with anticipation over tomorrow! I am very hopeful that all will go well, but feel at peace with either outcome.
Until tomorrow....
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